


Back to the sun

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:28:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23546905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: The heat of the tropical paradise turns the heat of their argument up too.
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 26





	Back to the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello!  
> How are you guys? I hope everyone is doing okay. In this terrifying and stressful time it's important to take care of yourself and your loved ones, stay safe <3  
> This one is long. Like, *long*. Not the longest one I've written but it's up there. It uses the information from OH2.  
> Enjoy! <3

„We have to stop getting ourselves into situations like these.” He muttered under his breath, gripping the handle of his suitcase so hard, he was scared it would break. He used it as an anchor, trying not to drown in the ocean of his confused emotions and feelings. She bit back a laugh, choosing instead to smirk at his remark.

“Yes, please, remind me to say ‘no’ next time you give me an assignment. I’m sure you would be over the moon.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm, feeling distant and much too cold for his liking. It’s been that way for a few weeks now, the utter and complete ‘control’ she had over herself whether they were in close proximity. A month ago, she might have been a bit more friendly, but those times were long gone, leaving only the stiff sense of professionalism that he so desperately wanted to maintain with her.

They wouldn’t be in that impasse if he hadn’t been such an idiot and just talked to her. Instead, he chose to ignore her completely. The hospital was in trouble, the team was in trouble, and deep down he knew that. He knew that she might have had a point, going against him and contacting that patient when he oh so clearly told her not to.

But she did, and now the Board sensed profit. Who could blame them, they had to figure out a way to keep the hospital afloat; it made perfect sense to use her idea, and no amount of his protests would change the fact that in their situation, with a knife against their throat, they had no other choice.

Deafening silence dropped between them, increasing the discomfort they both felt when interacting with each other tenfold. Without even a second of hesitation, she walked past him and went to the security line. He followed, feeling even worse about the whole trip than he did when he left his apartment this morning.

Because apparently, the team was now being rented out to the patient’s home like some device, they were called to the patient all the way on the island in the Philippines. They couldn’t just leave their patients, so it was decided that half of the team would go, while the other half stays behind. It was Ethan’s luck that June had her dentist appointment that week and Baz had to attend a class, which left Claire and Ethan at the airport, about to board the plane.

And still, not another word was being said. If he had a wand, he would have gone back in time and smacked himself in the back of his head. Told his past self that being stubborn when it came to situations like those had never been a good idea, especially when the only woman on his mind was involved in the situation. Pushed him towards her so they could talk, so they could avoid being stuck between hatred and emptiness.

His every try at sparking up a conversation with her that had nothing to do with their work was immediately shut down. He couldn’t even count how many times he wondered if this was what she felt like every time he pushed her away. Feeling like an idiot was bad enough, but now he also felt like an asshole, and it just added to the emptiness that roared in his chest every time he looked at her and she turned away from him.

Once they were stuck in a plane in adjacent seats, he figured there would be nowhere for them to run, so, logically, they would have to talk eventually. Oh, how wrong he was. Books, music, sleep, something called Netflix that was confusing to him but from what he gathered, it allowed her to watch movies and shows. She did it all, just so that she wouldn’t have to talk to him. Turning towards the window so she wouldn’t even have to _look_ at him.

What a long week that would be.

\-----------

_He could only hope that no one heard the door to his office slam behind him. He didn’t even reach his desk when they opened again, then slammed shut once more. Steps followed, then a chair got pulled back in haste and suddenly they were seeing eye to eye._

_“Can you talk to me? Or are you going to be throwing that hissy fit of yours for the rest of my residency?” she asked, as calmly as she possibly could, given the circumstance. He scoffed, leaning back in his seat with folded arms._

_“I don’t see the need to talk to you. Just like you didn’t see the need to talk to me before you went behind my back and compromised the team’s ideals.”_

_“I did talk to you, but you were too busy caring about morals that aren’t even yours, Ethan. I get that Naveen wanted the team to work differently, trust me, I do. But times changed, situation has changed along with it, and we can’t afford to be guided just by those aspirations, no matter how noble they are. If we can’t keep the hospital alive, we can’t help anyone. Don’t you see that?” she explained slowly, refusing to let the emotions get the best of her. The last thing she needed was an argument with him, another one for the books._

_“It’s not okay to throw away the sole purpose for the team’s existence because you couldn’t stop and wait for us to come up with other solution. It’s not okay to decide for yourself how the team works. You may be there because you are a brilliant young doctor, but that doesn’t give you a free pass to do whatever the hell you want.” he was getting even more winded, his knee going up and back down as he struggled to not slam his hand on the desk. It was enough that he already raised his voice at her, but it would only be a matter of time before he says something he regrets._

_“You’re a goddamn hypocrite! How is it that I’m an idiot when I came up with the solution for the team to stay alive, but when you threw away Naveen’s vision because you needed Nash’s help, it’s suddenly okay?” her tone rose slightly, her whole body shaking from anger and anxiety. What he was doing was wrong, and she was having none of it._

_“I didn’t have a choice. You did, and you fell right into the trap that this circumstance set up for naïve weak links like you.”_

_In that moment, the world has stopped for a fraction for a second. He could see the exact moment in which she broke, like a twig on the ground in the forest when it’s stepped on. A loud crack in the otherwise silent and calm environment._

_A lone tear shone in her eye before rolling down her cheek slowly, a mere whisper against her skin. The blow took her breath away, made her recoil, as though she had been shot. And maybe she was. Her chest hurt, like someone grabbed her lungs and squeezed, making it impossible to breathe. Barely holding onto the last sliver of her strength, she nodded, a barely visible move, then stood up and left the room, letting the door fall shut with a gently click behind her._

\-----------

He regretted those words more than anything else in his life. Only once she placed the very strict and very stern barrier between them did he come to terms with the fact that he needed her. He wanted her. It felt different than when he was in the Amazon, and despite now seeing her every day, it felt like the distance was all the same again. When he left her for two months, he felt in control. It was his own decision, he was in charge of the situation, at least to some degree. Now, it was her. She built walls between them and set an entire ocean of space between those layers, just to make sure that he would never get through them.

It took him some time to realize that she was protecting herself from another blow from him. He hurt her enough times for her to have enough. When he finally connected the dots and came to the realization of what exactly he said to her, she was already out of reach from him. They were now stuck like this, for indefinite time, and he had no idea if there was a way out of this for either of them.

Long hours later, when the plane touched down, he felt some weight being lifted off his chest. They spoke a total of two times during the whole flight, both times about their patient, and both times it was a stiff and empty conversation.

_You should be happy, Ramsey. Just like you wanted._

The hot, humid air hit him as soon as he took a step outside the plane, and he immediately regretted his choice of clothing. It crossed his mind to lose the sweater, but he found his thoughts freezing and then instantly flying out the window when he turned towards Claire, just in time to see her taking her shirt off. He choked on air, being acutely aware of how the tank top she had underneath hugged her body. When she folded the shirt and hid it in her bag, she ran her fingers through her hair to tame it a bit, and it was at that moment that she chose to look at him. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why he was staring, and that alone earned him a scoff from her.

“What are you looking at, Dr. Ramsey?” she asked, putting her sunglasses on and walking past him, not bothering to check if he was following her.

Yes, a long week ahead of them indeed.

\--------

The road from the airport to the marina went without a hitch. Ethan was surprised to find out that she actually knew a bit of Filipino, so she could talk to their driver, even though most of their conversation was spoken in English.

It always fascinated him, how much he still didn’t know about her. There were so many layers to who she was, and even if he spent the rest of his life uncovering them, he wouldn’t discover everything. She was so open to people, so warm and welcoming, drawing them to her with just the way her smile warmed up the room she was in. It’s one of the things that made him fall for her, so hard and fast that he didn’t even feel when or how it happened.

He observed her as they got onto the boat. How her hair shined under the sun, how she gesticulated vividly while speaking to their Capitan, laughing at something he muttered in the language Ethan didn’t understand. He remained silent, focusing on the lines on his hands, the turmoil in his head getting louder. A shadow passed his skin and the bench he was sitting on suddenly bent under additional weight as she sat down next to him.

“Do we know anything about the patient? Who are they even?” she asked softly, gazing over her shoulders, locking her eyes on the rays of sunshine that sparkled on the surface of the water. Ethan’s line of sight, however, found its place on the side of her face, where it remained until she looked back at him.

It was a rare moment for him, when she allowed him to look into her eyes. The underlying pain, the sadness so powerful that it felt like a kick to his chest, and unspoken question of _Is that really what you think of me?_ that he could almost hear her ask, breathlessly, barely above a whisper.

“His name is Andres Blanco, he’s 47. Used to live in Spain, then decided to move here with his wife. I don’t have any information about his condition though, so that remains to be seen.” He recited, knowing all the details by heart by now. He’s read the file he was given by Naveen more times than he could count, just so that he could distract himself from thinking of yet another way he could get Claire to talk to him.

“I can see why he moved. It’s such a peaceful place.” She mused, leaning over the side of the boat to dip her hand into the water. Her hair flew forward covering her face almost entirely, the tips getting darker as they got wet.

“Do you see yourself living here?” he remembered her asking him a very similar question when they were on a home visit a few weeks back. His answer didn’t change, but he never found out her opinion.

“I almost moved here. Five years ago.” Her reply was met with wide eyes, which in turn made her grin. “I decided to stay in The States, go for my medical degree.”

“I think you would fit in here nicely. It has just enough quietness to balance out the craziness of life.” he pointed out and for the first time in weeks, he saw her smiling. Dimples created a stark contrast with her otherwise sunlit skin, making his gaze stray from her eyes for just a moment.

An island came into the view, causing silence to once again fall between them. It felt different though, a tone lighter, made it easier to breathe. It gave him a glimmer of hope, maybe they were not doomed after all. She did leave his side in haste, but the coldness on her face wasn’t as biting as it once was.

A young woman was waiting for them on the shore, smiling brightly as she waited for them to approach her. The very second Claire was in her proximity, her arms went around her neck in an overly enthusiastic hug, but it seemed as though Claire was expecting it, for she reciprocated the gesture in kind.

“It’s so good to finally have you here! Mr. Blanco was awaiting your arrival. Please, come this way.” She nodded her head slightly, then led them inside the house. Ethan hurried after the two of them, touching Claire’s elbow gently to get her attention. To his surprise, she didn’t jerk away from him.

“Are all people so…”

“Happy?” she suggested, grinning at his evident discomfort, watching how his eyes narrowed at her, making her grin even wider. “Most people here are. I’d say you’re going to get used to it, but I know you long enough to know that it’s not true.”

“So, what do you propose I do?” he ran his fingers through his hair, breathing out heavily. She patted his shoulder briefly in return.

“Deal with it.”

He still wasn’t used to her being so detached from him, so indifferent to everything he was doing. Of course, he had no way of knowing if she was truly over him, or if she was only pretending, but in that moment, he could only go on what was in front of him. And all he saw was her indifferent demeanor, with rare moments in which he could see glimpses of how she really felt.

The inside of the house provided much needed shade and protection from the sun, along with the pleasant sensation of coolness. In the grand living room, he spotted a pair, fully focused on the game of chess between them. A man looked up when he heard them walk in and smiled widely.

“Ah! Doctors, I assume? Please, come on in, have a seat. Would you like some iced coffee? Are you hungry?” he stood up slowly and approached them, greeting Claire first, then Ethan. “Paula, if you would be so kind to-“

“Please, Mr. Blanco, it’s quite alright. All that can wait, we’d much rather get started if that’s okay with you.” Ethan interrupted, aware of how rude it might sound. A warm touch on his arm stopped him from saying anything else.

“What Dr. Ramsey meant is that we would love to, but it all can be done in the meantime. If you could clue us into your symptoms? Where did they start?” Claire smiled, speaking softly and quietly, handling the situation far better than he did. He was grateful that she did get his point across without sounding stiff, and the fact that Andres immediately nodded and complied with her wish only made him appreciate her more.

They found out that his wife’s name was Carla and that it was her who reached out to them. His symptoms didn’t point towards anything specific, exactly how they expected it to be. After taking samples to run some tests, they decided to retreat to their rooms for the afternoon, giving their patient some space.

“So, what do you think is wrong with him?” he asked when they were alone in the hallway, hoping not so silently that she would actually talk to him. She leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath, drilling holes into the floor with her gaze.

“I don’t know. Let’s wait for the test results and then we’ll pick up this conversation.”

And with that, she disappeared behind the door to her room. A sinking feeling in his stomach got worse every time she did that, but he couldn’t really blame her. Ever since the argument in his office, their relationship was practically nonexistent, and he had no one else but himself to blame. She refused to let him talk, and he refused to run after her like a kicked puppy. Both too stubborn to resolve the situation.

\--------

The evening air brought a gentle breeze from the ocean, making trees around the house whisper softly as their leaves moved. They were seated on the patio, lit by candles and lit torches that lined the way to the beach. Food was already gone from the table, only glasses of wine left. Claire fell into an easy routine, insisting that Paula joined them, noticing how Carla called her ‘Paulita’ with a voice full of fondness. The three women found the common ground almost immediately, getting lost deeper and deeper in their exchange. Meanwhile, Ethan and Andres watched them, the latter with a smile on his face, and the former with an unreadable expression.

The last rays of sunshine left the sky, prompting them to finish their gathering and head to beds. Claire excused herself, heading for the beach without looking back. It took only a fraction of a second for Ethan to decide to follow her, his feet carrying him after her, his lips curling around her name.

She couldn’t say she expected him to follow her. Truth be told, her initial intention was to get away from him so she could get some perspective on the situation, but that thought flew out of her head almost as quickly as it entered it. She’s had plenty of time to go over their last real conversation, over and over again, in great detail. She could quote it, line for line, complete with his tone and facial expressions.

Up until now, she didn’t want to face him. But now, she was ready to finish it.

They both came to a slow stop right at the edge of the water, the waves brushing against the tips of their feet slightly. She was looking ahead at the horizon. He was looking at her, unable to remember what words even were or what language could he speak. In the soft light of the moon, she looked even more radiant than in the full sun, the slightly tanned skin of hers creating a contrast in the white light during the night.

“I’ve been here before. Philippines, I mean. During high school, an exchange program. A very different time, a very different Claire, but the water feels the same. The stars look the same.” She mused, drawing a shape with the tip of her toe, watching as the waves dissolved it. “What an easy time that was.”

“Claire… I… “ he stuttered, unable to even form a coherent sentence. He could feel his breathing get elevated and his emotions flying high. Like never before, he wanted to say the right thing, he wanted that goddamn impasse to be over, but he was aware of how badly he screwed up. A simple ‘sorry’ just wasn’t enough, not this time.

“Look, I don’t want you apologizing to me. For the past month I was brewing in this state of self-loathing because with each day that passed, I realized that you may be right. That being said, I’m not sorry about my decision, and I’m not going to apologize for what I did. I’m hotheaded, I act before I think and it’s going to get me in trouble more times than save my ass, but it’s just who I am. I can’t exactly change that.” She shrugged, then looked up at him. His eyes were staring straight through her, morphing from nothingness, to a sliver of panic, to understanding.

She continued after a moment, letting out a breathless laughter, like she was relieved. “The moment I realized that, I understood what I wanted. What I needed.” Her hand went up, about to touch him, and then fell back against her side. “I need you to hold me so tight that I lose the sense of time or let me go. Keep me close or let me walk away. I’m tired of not knowing what ground I’m standing on, always feeling like I’m about to be swallowed whole. I need stability, Ethan. I need security, one way or another.”

The silence was something both of them were used to, allowing her words to ring between them before setting in properly. He was stunned, his throat closed, and he couldn’t speak if her tried. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, and yet, when he opened his mouth, no sound would come out. She understood that, knowing the feeling all too well, so she bid him goodnight, leaving him with a lasting image of her fleeting smile in the moonlight.

\-------

The next morning, she greeted him at breakfast with an easy smile. There was no trace of tension in her posture, not even a hint of uncomfortableness whatsoever. Calling out to ‘Paulita’, she jumped in to help her with setting the table, leaving him to his thoughts.

She seemed okay. Definitely better than she was the night before. Miles above the pit she seemed to be treading above for several weeks. He was happy for her; how could he not be? It was his words that hurt her, it was him that made her cry, the sight of it burned into his memory.

Their conversation from the night before hadn’t left his mind for even a second. She made him face the hard truth. His anger may have been directed at her, but the real issue was the feeling of helplessness in the situation they were facing. As much as he would want to lie and say that the way she handled the problem was the source of his sour mood, he had to admit that her going behind his back hurt him more. His morals didn’t match the reality, amplifying his temper and blowing everything out of proportion.

She wasn’t a weak link. Of course she wasn’t, she was one of the strongest, and he knew it damn well. But at that point, it didn’t matter what he knew and didn’t know, because all _she_ knew was that he considered her a liability.

His line of thought was interrupted by everyone gathering for breakfast, making him point his attention to the problem of Andres’s condition. Ethan’s eyes strayed from his plate to Claire only once, noticing how the air around them seemed lighter. He felt like he could breathe again, and chances were that it would only get better from that point on.

\----------

It must have been four in the morning, but it didn’t really matter. They all stayed up until ten pm to solve the case, and it paid off. Celebratory champagne was opened, and music began flowing in the air, furniture got pushed to the sides of the room to make space for dancing. Ethan remained seated, watching how everyone around him threw all the reservations aside and just relaxed. He was never much of a dancer, not that he couldn’t, he just didn’t feel the need to.

Someone stood before him, casting a shadow upon him, prompting him to look up. Claire’s eyes sparkled with happiness, champagne and so much life in them, making him want to jump up and scream at the top of his lungs. She extended her hand towards him, wiggling her fingers invitingly.

“Come on, dance with me.” she said, pulling him up with surprising strength when he placed his palm in hers. He stumbled, catching himself onto her for support, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

It might have been alcohol that made him twirl her with such enthusiasm. It might have been the fever from the high temperature that made him dip her onto the floor, only to pull her back into his arms and back out again. It might have been the music she sang along to, the utter happiness on her face that made him smile too.

As fast as she pulled him onto the dancefloor, she was gone, giggling when Paula twirled around her, jumping to the beat of the song. He sat back down, taking a sip of his drink, watching the world around him go by.

It was now hours later, the sun was beginning to rise again. He should be sleeping, but the turmoil in his mind makes it impossible to even close his eyes.

There used to be a time when he would wake up early to watch the sunrise. Much like it was now, the tranquility of the world at such a young hour of the day filling him to the brim. No one else was around, he was alone with himself. It felt comforting and empty at the same time, the contradicting feelings causing waves to roll through his head.

But he wasn’t the only person up as it turned out. In a long, white dress, flowing in the breeze, stood Claire. Her feet in the water, the edges of the material wet from the contact with the liquid. She seemed lost in thoughts, swaying from side to side gently to some tune.

His feet carried him to her side, standing next to her wordlessly. They watched the sun go up, changing the sky, creating lines and shadows on their faces. In that moment, he was ready to swear that he’s never seen a more beautiful scenery before in his entire life.

The ocean was warm against his skin, his toes sinking into the wet sand slightly, providing just enough stability to help him ground himself in the situation. No words were needed, at least not now. For once, the silence was comforting, not filled with rage, loathing and regrets, but instead with comfort and security.

Suddenly, she took a step forward, then another, getting deeper into the water, her dress clinging to her body more and more. She stopped when half of her body was gone from his view, her head falling back slowly, shoulders moving up and down as she took a deep breath. He followed her, reaching for her hand with his, their fingers brushing against each other.

Eventually, she turned her head to look at him, her face blank of any emotions. His other hand brushed against her cheek, a look of wonder taking over his features.

“I’m an idiot.” He muttered, still focused on her eyes. An amused smirk appeared on her lips.

“You are. And you are welcome for the honesty too.” She added, making him laugh breathlessly.

“I mean it, really. I’ve been carrying this guilt and anger with me for such a long time, and I realized that it’s not you I’m angry at. It’s not your actions that made me say all those reckless words. It was my own cowardice.” Ethan admitted, anxious about her reaction. Her eyebrow shot up, an even combination of pensiveness and curiosity now present on her face.

“What cowardice?”

“I wasn’t brave enough to do what the team needed me to do. What you did. I wasn’t brave enough to admit that you were right. I wanted to hurt you, push you away, as far as I could, so I wouldn’t have to look at you every day and be reminded of the biggest act of cowardice I’ve ever committed.”

This was the moment in which he cuts himself open and lets her see him for who he really was. He suspected that she already knew it all, after all, she knew him better than anyone else. At times, it felt as though she could see right through him.

“I wasn’t brave enough to admit that I never wanted to let you go. I don’t want to let you go. I don’t want space, I don’t want time.” He stepped closer to her, moving his hand to the small of her back, pulling her just a bit closer to him. “I want to get lost in you, hold you so tight that the rest of the world disappears. It usually does, when I’m with you. I’m sorry I’ve been an asshole, you have every right not to believe a word I say but… I want you close”

She looked up at him without saying anything, prolonging his torture even more. They both knew it. And then, something in her face changed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him downwards, making them both fall into the water. Her laughter rang in his ears, then got quickly cut off as she dove beneath the surface and swam away from him.

He chased after her, getting them both closer to the shore so they both could reach the ground with their feet. Claire wrapped her arms around him tightly, bringing their faces together. Right before their lips met, she managed to whisper.

“Don’t let me go.”

The kiss was like a breath of fresh air, filling him up and reaching every far end of his whole being. The intensity hit them both, making them stumble and fall to the ground, her hands gripping his hair as she laid on top of him. The waves crashed against them, soaking them to the last thread, but neither seemed to notice nor mind. He hummed quietly, letting himself get swept by the force of her influence on him, his grip on her sides tightening slightly.

Flipping them over, he wrapped one arm around her to keep her close, bracing himself above the ground with the other. She broke the kiss and leaned away, watching him with attentive gaze. His hair was dripping, droplets falling onto his skin and lips. Feeling playful, she dove forward and licked the water away, then bit his lower lip and pulled on it, eliciting a growl from him.

“If I didn’t know any better, I would think that you’re trying to seduce me.” he muttered into her ear, grazing the side of her neck with his nose. A shiver ran down her spine as she shook her head.

“Wherever would you get that idea. I was watching the sunrise, it was you who attacked me.” giggling, she detangled herself from his grip. A rush of panic rose in his chest, wondering if he read the situation incorrectly. She stood over him, hands on her hips, looking at the horizon again. “So… are you going to continue or…?”

The look on his face must have been a work of art. All the insecurity evaporated, and he couldn’t stand up fast enough. Once she was close enough for him to embrace her, he gathered her in his arms and threw her over his shoulder, a surprised gasp escaping her lips.

“You think we can make it back to the house without flooding the floor?” he asked, laughter coloring his voice. She drummed her palms against his back, pondering upon his question for a short while.

“Only one way to find out.”


End file.
